6 things people need to know about Insomniacs.

I can’t sleep. I’ve been unable to sleep for the last 8 months. One of the things insomniacs (yours truly) have a habit is to count the days, months or years since they’ve finally gotten decent shut eye. For all of you, blissful people who keep sending me “Good night, sweet dreams” messages. STOP. All nights are the same and dreams? Pfft. I wish. Here’s a list of 6  things you should know about insomniacs.

NOTE: Insomnia is actually a condition, so for all of you new age hipsters, who think sleeping is a waste of time, count your blessings.

6.  You’re never really awake.

As Edward Norton says ” With Insomnia nothing’s real. Everything’s far away. Everything’s a copy of a copy.” Now I know what all of you are thinking, that he had this completely awesome alter ego telling him, on how to live his life. That sounds fantastic sure, but I’m pretty sure no Tyler Durden is going to come of out of my head anytime soon.

young man in bed with eyes opened suffering insomnia and sleep disorder thinking about his problem

If i drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. We do not have super powers.

Apparently people have this belief that not being able to sleep is like a super power that has only been gifted to the chosen ones. Okay so let me point out here, that there’s a huge difference between fighting the urge to sleep and unable to. We’re just like you. Don’t call us special. Although being called ‘The Chosen One” does have a nice ring to it.

HEYYEYEYEYEYA

HEYYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYA!

4. But what you must have so much free time..

Have you ever been jet lagged? You know after being on a 14 hour flight after being in transit for another couple of hours, and then some. Well try imagine having that feeling all the time, everything just moves on and drags along slowly for hours and hours. Let me phrase it in a much simpler way then, We’re too awake to rest and too tired to do anything else. Speaking of time..

God dammit Emperor Palpatine.

God dammit Emperor Palpatine.

3. Time has no meaning anymore.

You’re life must be pretty balanced right? I mean, sure slacking off a bit is normal and everything, however you’re on a pretty good schedule, I hope. However, for me at least time has no meaning anymore. After sitting on my computer for a while, I look out through the window and Voila’! Daylight and before you even know it, it’s night. Although it does give us an insight into the lifestyle of flight attendants and the crew. We feel your pain.

its_time_to_take_a_moment_to_appreciate_these_memes_640_32

HOOT! HOOT! Am i right, ladies?

2. It does miracles to your body. (lol jk)

People tell me that by not sleeping, you burn a tremendous amount of calories. Since you’re brain is still functioning a lot more than when you’re sleeping. What they don’t tell me is all the added benefits you get along with weight loss like depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, risk of heart disease, poor immune system etc etc. My personal favorite is of course all the paranoia.

AAAGGHGH!! That is way too much pressure, man!

AAAGGHGH!! That is way too much pressure, man!

1. You’re stuck in a time loop FOREVER

As humans, we are really big on the whole “Have a routine, stick by it” ideal. I mean it’s this ideal that allows us to be professionals in which ever field and allows us to do our jobs perfectly. I mean it’s embedded deep within our genes as well. So any change which has to occur in our life, even though it might be for the best, is met with rigid resistance. So when people say just snap out of it, get into your usual routine to a insomniac, like myself you’re basically asking me to go against the principles of human nature itself.

Clearly Joseph Gordon-Lewitt has it figured out.

Clearly Joseph Gordon-Lewitt has it figured out. I mean, look at that face.

All I wanted to do, was just enlighten you all with the cons and only cons of Insomnia. We don’t want your sympathy as well, as that would imply we’re special. So all in all we just want you to understand. For your patience, in reading through my rant, here’s a pug living it up.

tumblr_inline_mjjyvn5q3g1r405y9

Zain Sheriff, is your typical geek blogger with an avid interest in video games, anime and everything fun. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter to tell him he has no life.

Advertisements

5 smartphone apps that will change the way you use your phone

Pile of smart phones

Order out of chaos?

We all are living and breathing in a glorious time. A wonderful time to be alive, if i may say so. The era that has seen many revolutions occur one after another, is ready for a much more compact, user friendly, powerful monster which just lies dormant in our pockets all the time. Smartphones are just the tip of the iceberg, for what’s in store for us in the near future.

In order for us, to completely utilize and maximize our complete potential using these amazing devices our minds are literally overwhelmed with the apps (applications) that such phones have to offer. Time for some statistics now. I know how much you people love them. There are more than 200 million smartphone users in America alone. However the most interesting bit, is that 44% of those people keep their phone by their bedside, so that they never miss an update.

100% relatable
      100% relatable

 However, this is not a post about about how much we love to send chain messages and flirty texts at 3 a.m. That’s for another article. But seriously guys, PLEASE stop. So without further ado, Here’s 6 apps that you need at all costs.

This article is a collection of my own personal, chosen apps. I have not been asked, nor am I being paid to highlight and recommend these apps (Although I wish I did).

5. Twitter

TWEET TWEET!
TWEET TWEET!

Twitter is an amazing app, for you to be constantly updated about anything and everything that might be happening across the word, this very instant. You can follow all of your pop culture idols here, and get a sneak peek into how they live their lives, since we have don’t have one of our own. Founded by Evan Williams  and Noah Glass  on March 21, 2006, this social networking tool or unconsciously cyber stalking tool is different from other social media tools, due to it’s one major plus point. 140 characters. Period.

4 Duolingo

Oh look another bird! Big Whoop.
Oh look another bird! Big Whoop.

“Another bird, Zain?” You might ask.  Hey, I’m not the one who makes the logos for these apps. Don’t you get the feeling sometimes that no one understands you? You can’t relate to something someone has to say? Feel confounded, at times? Probably because you’re speaking an entirely different language, nimrod. Duolingo is here to save you guys,don’t worry. You can learn languages completely free of cost, including Spanish, German, Finnish, Swedish, French and not to forget Klingon.

3 Uber

It's UBER cool y'all! No? I'll stop now.
It’s UBER cool y’all! No? I’ll stop now.

Uber  is definitely one of the must-have apps on any person’s phone at any time. Countless times, while being stuck in the rain. or when my car just wouldn’t cut me some slack. Uber has been a life saver, countless number of times. Saving the hassle of dealing with cab drivers and their various demands or just avoiding basic human communication with the driver, is a huge advantage that Uber provides. But if you’re ever stuck with a regular chatty Kathy. Bad luck. Indeed, Uber is so popular and always subjected to controversy, even South Park made an episode about it.

2 Google+ (I’m just kidding who even cares about google+?)

2. Ingress

Finally a decent logo.
Finally a decent logo.

To be quite honest, a recent addition to my collection of apps. Although I don’t use it for it’s intended purpose it’s a great way for friends to bond and do things together. It’s a great excuse to get out of the house, rather than being glued to your phone at home. Now you can be glued to your phone outside, too yay! The basic concept of Ingress is that you’re divided into 2 factions, let’s just call them the blue guys and the green guys. The green guys create portals and conquer bases, the blue guys destroy these portals and reclaim it for their own. Now, the interesting bit- These portals are actually present in real life locations where you have to walk, run or hitch a ride to get to reclaim these parts for your own. Great way to get some exercise done as well. Also, next time someone asks you about augmented reality, now you know what to say.

  1. Snapchat
Says it all.
Says it all.

Created by Brown and Spiegel as an assignment in Spiegel’s classes for product design where it was his major. This insanely popular app gives the young generation what we want when we want it. SELFIE, SELFIE, SELFIE! The concept of taking a picture with your front camera adding a little touch of art and a nice quote can get you the popularity which you’ve sorely missed since high school. Let’s see a few examples of such exemplary art.

funny-snapchat-ariel-little-mermaid

537x764xfunny-snapchats-09.jpg.pagespeed.ic.9Npazxxoa_

SUCH ART. MUCH WOW.

Agree with the list? What apps would you ask your grandma to install in her smartphone? Let me know in the comment section BELOW!

Zain Sheriff, is your typical geek blogger with an avid interest in video games, anime and everything fun. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter to tell him he has no life.

Top 5 STRONGEST bleach captains

Way too much awesomeness in one picture.
               Way too much awesomeness in one picture.

We all love Bleach don’t we? I mean, who doesn’t love an orange haired dude kick Hollow ass and beat the strong captains as well. In case you don’t know who I’m speaking of it’s Kurosaki Ichigo and his adventures in Karakura town. Speaking of the strong captains who are truly amazing here’s a list of the top 5 captains.

NOTE: This is a list made completely by me, feel free to tell me your opinions in the comment section below.

5. Kurotsuchi Mayuri

http://orig14.deviantart.net/c96d/f/2012/313/c/4/kurotsuchi_mayuri_by_askkurotsuchimayuri-d5kgnzr.jpg
Utterly Insane.

Kurotsuchi Mayuri is the current captain of the 12th squad division of the Gotei 13. Apart from being maniacal and utterly devoted to his research, his zanpakuto  Ashisogi Jizō is completely terrifying. Capable of inflicting complete paralysis of the limbs who ever dares to oppose him. However his poison works in a more deviant way, by actually allowing the victim to feel pain even while being paralyzed. This kind of torment and not to mention his scientific intellect, grants him a position in my list. Now that’s what I call, sinister.

4. Toshiro Hitsugaya

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/bleachuntoldstories/images/2/24/Hitsugaya_toshiro_profile.png/revision/latest?cb=20131001003047

Do not call him short, EVER

Toshiro Hitsugaya is the current captain of the 10th squad division of the Gotei 13. Short tempered, but with a cool ice dragon as a zanpakuto, called Hyorinmaru. He has one of the most coolest (both literally and metaphorically) zanpakutos in the series. With a no bullshit attitude and the strength of an Ice dragon. With a sick ass bankai, that makes the enemy completely surrounded by ice and immobile enemies do not stand a chance. This is one short kid, you do not want to mess with. Oops.

3. Kuchiki Byakuya

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/legendsofthemultiuniverse/images/f/fe/Ep198ByakuyaKuchiki.png/revision/latest?cb=20150613060413
 Strong, Silent. Basically a chick magnet.

Kuchiki Byakuya is the captain of the 6th Squad in the Gotei 13. Coming from a royal family, honor and dignity is the only thing that matter to him. Wielding one of the most powerful strongest Zanpakutos in the series, that face is quite enough to drive the enemy into sheer terror. Completely calm, even in the face of battle, nothing seems to baffle this man even in the midst of battle. His zanpakuto Senbonzakura Kageyoshi does massive amounts of damage with this sword dissipating into millions of blades that cut through the enemy. Although the biggest miracle we could hope out of him would be to smile at least, once.

2Zaraki Kenpachi
http://www.comicvine.com/kenpachi-zaraki/4005-42566/

                                                  Blood thirsty, Neurotic and one Crazy Mofo

Zaraki Kenpachi, is the Captain of the 11th Squad division of the Gotei 13. Basically a monster, capable of causing widespread havoc. He loves fighting and gets stronger and enraged more dependent on the strength of the victim. He loves killing and his signature is his eye patch. It enables him to control his reiatsu (Spirit Energy), so that he can really enjoy fighting the opponent. Known popularly as the Demon Shinigami of the Gotei 13. The only person he listens to is his lieutenant, Yachiru Kusajishi. What makes him truly terrifying, and a force beyond belief is that he has no Bankai. 

1. Genryusai Yamamoto

Old Man Yama

                                                                     Commander Bad-ass

Coming to the strongest of the captains in the Gotei 13, it’s none other than Genryusai Yamamoto. The captain of Squad One and Head Captain of the Gotei 13. Old man Yama is much more than, your senile old grandfather. Founder of soul society, his body is filled with scars reflecting the amount of battles he’s won. Sensei of Shunshui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake, claims that no shinigami born in the last 1000 years is stronger than him. His zanpakuto is the most strongest in soul society, called the Ryujin Jakka is so powerful, the sheer power of the flame can burn anything it is pointed to. Long live Old man Yama, you will be missed.

Agree with this list? Who do you think is the strongest? Write your thoughts below in the comment section.  

Zain Sheriff, is your typical geek blogger with an avid interest in video games, anime and everything fun. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter to tell him he has no life.